I promised, in a moment of insanity, the results of the Fair, in which Housekeeper had entries. I have the update.
She was by today, and I asked. I found that I’m dealing with a prodigy of proportions; I also found, while spinning a short tale for Housekeeper, that the object of my gentle jibs were related to Housekeeper.
It started by my telling her, when asked, I had, indeed, attended the Fair briefly, and of my difficulty in finding her name among the entries, which thereby led me to believe she’d been putting me on. I accused her of sending me to a Fair for State convicts where the only entries were by convicts number, and she laughed before getting down to it.
She only (emphasis mine on only) gathered a few ribbons this year; there’s been too much rain, you understand, for things to grow correctly and, besides, it is only a small fair anyway.
I interpreted her to ask if she was a Kansas Farmer, and she wanted to know what I meant by that. I had to explain that Kansas Farmers told one, when asked how the year was, how badly the weather, the bugs, or the seed companies were, without ever getting to the point of how their business really goes, in answer to the question of “How’s It Going?”
Housekeeper ignored that and continued along. I got, she said, only six ribbons and one Grand Championship. So I pressed her, and I found that she received the following:
1 Grand Championship in Canned Goods – Tomatoes
2 First Place Ribbons (Blue) in Canned Good – Pickled Okra and Sand Plum Jelly
1 Second Place Ribbon (Red) in Canned Goods – Beets
She broke off at that point and shook her head. They (meaning the Fair organizers) only allow one entry to a category, so she had to enter her second Jelly in her husbands name – which makes her husband the only male entry in the Canned Products Division. How the man is going to live that down is anybody’s guess, but I don’t think it’ll bother him all that much even though he is going to hear about it for a time.
Now, Housekeeper said, what else – Oh, Husband won a third place ribbon for his entry ( White) – Blackberry Jelly.
In the Fresh Veggies Category, she received:
1 First Place – Yellow Squash
1 First Place – Green Beans
1 First Place – Okra
1 Second Place – Potatoes
I Second Place – Beets
1 Third Place – Tomatoes
1 Third Place – Onions (Yellow Onions)
She ran down at that point and I asked if there was anymore. She said that if she’d have known I was going to pick her mind like this she’d have brought a list. I started to laugh and said, you know that next year, considering this and last year, she’d have a target on her butt a mile wide. Every woman, to include the Amish, especially the Amish women, would be shoting at her. They’d not let someone do this at the Fair’s without retribution.
Housekeeper looked sad, and said, yeah. Probably. I’m related to most of those women.
I didn’t know.
From the reaches,